A NEW DAY

Monday I had to go to two funerals. It's hard to write that especially since one of them was for someone who seemed healthy one day then was gone the next.

Judge McGrath's wake was on Friday. Somehow I felt at peace seeing him laying there not in pain anymore from the cancer.The priest reassured his grandchildren that grampa was no longer in pain and that he was OK. A lot of his colleagues came out to say goodbye. There even was an article in Newsday about Judge McGrath's life. Here's the article:

Hempstead Associate Justice Raymond McGrath dead at 79
BY BILL BLEYER bill.bleyer@newsday.com
December 1, 2008

A funeral service will be held this morning for Raymond A. McGrath, 79, of Hempstead, associate justice of the village's court for the past dozen years.

McGrath, a combat veteran of the Korean War who was active in his parish, died Wednesday of cancer at Winthrop-University Hospital in Mineola.

Born in St. Albans, Queens, McGrath graduated with a bachelor's degree from Fordham University in 1951, served as an Army first lieutenant with the artillery in Korea from 1952 to 1953 and received a law degree from St. John's University in 1956. He moved to Hempstead in 1962.

A trial attorney for four decades, he served as Hempstead village prosecutor from 1971 until 1996, when he became associate justice. He participated in the "Courting Justice" continuing education program at Hempstead High School.

"He was a great mentor," recalled Lance Clarke, who was village justice until he resigned two weeks ago to run for mayor. "He always gave respect and got it back. He was a real 'people person'; he made a science out of it. He only got mad at circumstances; he never got mad at people."

His religious activities were as important to McGrath as his legal work, his family said. "He was a loving man whose primary concern was the safety and religious upbringing of his family," his son Kenneth said. He attended Mass daily at St. Joseph Roman Catholic Church in Garden City and helped with church projects.

McGrath also was past president of the United Neighbors Civic Association.

He enjoyed building and carpentry projects, gardening, cooking, crossword puzzles, reading and foreign languages. "He had a very good sense of humor and told many jokes," his son said.

In addition to Kenneth, of South Setauket, survivors include his wife of 49 years, Nancy, and sons Christopher of Yaphank and Gregg of Massapequa Park; a brother, John, of New Port Richey, Fla.; a sister, Dolores Cummings, of Bedford, N.H., and six grandchildren.

The funeral Mass will be at 10 a.m. at St. Joseph Church in Garden City followed by burial at Calverton National Cemetery.

The family requests donations be made to Interfaith Nutrition Network at 211 Fulton Ave., Hempstead, NY 11550, or to the WE CARE Fund, 15th & West Streets, Mineola, NY 11501.

Oscela didn't have a wake. His family are of the Islamic/Muslim religion so he had a closed casket funeral. (damn that feels terrible to talk about him in that content.) In the Muslim religion, the family washes the body of the deceased and they wrap the body in white clothes. The room was packed for Oscela's funeral. He was loved by many. We met his girlfriend of 2 and a half months. She's beautiful...after all those years of him talking about women this and women that it was nice when he said to me he had found a girl that could be the one.

It's still very hard for me to think of them being gone....especially Oscela. He would be missed...I still can hear his laugh when I made a joke and see the scrunched up faces he made when he would cross exam a defendant. I still don't feel closure about Oscela's passing...even with all the great things that were said about his life. Maybe it's cause, for me, I needed to see him at peace in the coffin. I know some people would rather not see their loved ones dead but, for me, I still see him in pain from that day he passed. I know with time I would feel better but it's hard.